You continue to make out with Christoph like this, hands tenderly moving through one another’s hair. You moan softly into the kiss, connecting your lips over and over. His lips welcome yours, and his hands go to the back of your neck, gently coaxing you closer. You then move your knees to either side of him, and bring your lips to his in a gentle kiss. You let your legs create a ripple, and float a little closer to him, until you're inches away. You had planned on showing yourself a good time, not being shown one by the most handsome man in Ibiza. You watch the turquoise light of the pool reflect off Christoph's face as he sinks down to his neck in the water, and sigh. The same spark he pushed down so many years ago that reassures him that he could actually love somebody without one of you leaving. Then all too suddenly, he's laying in bed awake at night and he starts to recognize this little spark of hope. He's glancing at you longer than he should (even though you can't tell behind the visor), standing closer to you than he normally would, and when you hand him a tool for the ship and your hands' touch it seems like an eternity before he finally pulls away.
Then over time, he fails to see how these Beskar walls he's spent so many years building up are turning to mush. To him, you are living so openly and freely it's almost confusing to see you upset and frustrated at things because everything you do looks like it's done with ease. Or, oh Maker, the way he sees you looking out the cockpit window with this longing look on your face.
Or the way you struggle to get words out when you're frustrated. To never put himself in that position of having to deal with his walls being broken down and have this scared and emotionally traumatized man be exposed to the outside world.īut then you come along, and you're so breathtaking in a way that catches him off guard when he sees you frowning at your own reflection in the mirror. He vows to never get attached to somebody in a way that will hurt him when one of you inevitably has to leave. So I imagine him as a kid, and probably into his teen years, sitting in bed late at night unable to sleep, just weeping these quiet and muffled sobs, remembering the look on his parents' faces, his mother's face, as they were ripped apart for the last time. He needs to build up these walls to block himself from feeling these emotions if he wants to stay alive. This new life he is facing is much different than what past him has known, and there's no room to be soft.
And once he is taken in by the other Mandalorians he's forced into this hardened exterior (literally) and doesn't get the chance to properly deal with his emotional trauma. Okay, I read these lyrics and I am instantly thinking about the scene where Din loses his parents.
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